Change is difficult

I've been out of school for over a week now and I'm not sure I really believe it. I find I'm still wasting a lot of time watching TV, playing on the Wii and PC computer games. Its like I'm determined to keep the graduation party going for as long as possible.

There are things I need to get working on and time is passing by. But going from hard core study to freedom has been a bit of a jolt, maybe I'm afraid of how to fill the hours or as one of my classmates said yesterday when we had lunch its the fear of spontaneity, having to manage everything and everyone, even when it doesn't matter. It comes down to letting go of the highly planned schedule and letting things flow. I'm learning to adjust, partly by setting goals for things I need to get done every night so I don't end up watching TV all night. Also need to make sure I get to bed on time so can get the sleep I need. The only constant in life is change it seems.

I'm reading (well listening to) a book by Donald R. Hickey, The War of 1812. I don't know that much about the war and the more I listen to the causes of the war, why it was fought and how poorly the Americans were prepared, I'm beginning to understand why it isn't taught in schools. The politicians were SO bad, the military so unprepared and the reasons so petty it can make one weep. The government had disarmed the country and then tried to increase the army with political cronies. It suppressed the speech of those who opposed the war and acquiesced when mobs burned down newspapers and killed people who disagreed with the war. I was skeptical when reading Winston Churchill's "History of the English Speaking People" and he said the War of 1812 was totally unnecessary and Britain never wanted to fight the US. I'm starting to come around to his view point. The US was at fault for starting the war and we were very lucky to get out of the war without losing any territory or becoming subject to British rule again.

Have a good day.