The Mouse is Trapped
I'm no fan of Michael Eisner. Disney has been on a downward spiral since the mid-90s and the loss of the Pixar deal is emblematic of the problems in the animation division.
I hope that Jobs is bluffing.
Blogging a dead horse since 2003...some of the time.
I'm no fan of Michael Eisner. Disney has been on a downward spiral since the mid-90s and the loss of the Pixar deal is emblematic of the problems in the animation division.
I hope that Jobs is bluffing.
Posted by Rob at 2:30 PM 0 comments
A self described geek had a very imaginative way of proposing to his now wife.
Posted by andrew at 1:12 PM 0 comments
Yesterday, Rob asked why give the NEA more money when it should be axed for the way it promoted its version of art over the last few years (or even decades).
Roger Kimball at NRO Online has this comment about the NEA
" Pronounce the acronym "NEA," and most people think Robert Mapplethorpe, photographs of crucifixes floating in urine, and performance artists prancing about naked, smeared with chocolate, and skirling about the evils of patriarchy."
That's what I think of the NEA when I hear of it. However, Kimball goes on to say the new director, Dana Gioia, who believes the purpose of the NEA is to bring art and culture to America, the classics instead of the latest trendiest and offensive stuff.
So the NEA appears to be doing the job it was originally set out for. Bringing art and culture to Americans who may not be able to go to NY or LA or cannot afford the prices the theaters there can charge for productions.
Now an argument can be made if the Government should be funding the arts at all, that is a good discussion to have (I don't think they should be), but at this time NEA is apparently using their funding to promote good art rather then shock art whose only purpose is to offend as many people as possible (IMHO).
I don't think an arts program will be a big help to economic development and would rather the funding be used differently (even not using it so the deficit wouldn't be so high) but at least the funding appears to be used well at this time.
Posted by andrew at 1:15 PM 0 comments
The NYT reports that President Bush is announcing a 15-20 million dollar increase for the National Endowment of the Arts, an increase of 12-16 percent increase and still below a the $176 million dollars it was given in 1992.
What really caught my eye is this comment by Rep. Louise M. slaughter (D-NY):
Posted by Rob at 9:57 PM 0 comments
A funny link that does test your knowledge of Canadian history. Work safe, has sound (music). Have fun but remember at work your supposed to be working not playing games.
Posted by andrew at 1:27 PM 0 comments
Darwin award candidates are listed in this PDF file. I can't vouch for the authenticity of the photographs (they could be doctored for all I know), but the folks in them are sure candidates for a Darwin Award.
Posted by andrew at 1:17 PM 0 comments
Fight Attendent Betty Ong's phone call September 11th, 2001:
Posted by Rob at 12:23 PM 0 comments
Or is this just calling it like it is? The prayer that has originated on the Internet around 1996 was spoken by Rep. Doug Quelland on the Arizona House floor Tuesday (1/27):
Posted by Rob at 11:30 AM 0 comments
Well, blogger and blogspot are cool because they are free, a key feature of their service. . .if I had to pay, I'd end up going with something that I have more control over, like TypePad. Anyways, just for yucks, I was playing around with syndicating this blog and found out that blogger now has XML syndication feeds, but with a propriatary format, Atom.
Ugh, I hate this. Why can't they stick to something standard rather than becoming a standard onto themselves? Now the feed reader I'm using has to upgrade, or I have to find a new reader. BAH. Big thumbs down, blogger!
Posted by Rob at 6:54 PM 0 comments
Peter Landesman at the New York Times Magazine has a long article on the sex slave trade in the US and Mexico. Its a long article and should not be read just before going to a social event, it will ruin your evening or day. Apparently the sex slave trade is bigger in the US then admitted and like drugs is growing only because of demand. In this case, the demand from men in the US for girls and teenagers for sex.
Its a sad commentary on the state of our society which tolerates such men to remain free.
Posted by andrew at 1:04 PM 0 comments
At Opinion Journal.com, Brian Taylor is publishing his journal from the Iraq war. Its a multi-part story. Its told in simple language on what he and his comrades felt at the time. No Rambo's here, but men (and women) who are trying to do their job and then go home to their families. I think this qualifies for a must read.
Posted by andrew at 1:13 PM 0 comments
Last Friday I wondered at the possibility that Spec Ops have nabbed the world's most notorious terrorist. According to the "world's most alarmest website", as labeled by Allahpundit, it is credible that the U.S. has captured OBL. If you like conspiracy theories, this makes for a good read.
Posted by Rob at 10:24 AM 0 comments
Suman Palit reveals how he will debate gun ownership rights:
Posted by Rob at 10:17 AM 0 comments
It's Banality Monday and time to ease ourselves back into the work week, so step into the time machine, circa February 2002 to remember the world's reaction to the Axis of evil. . .at least as Andrew Marlatt remembered. The article opens thus:
Posted by Rob at 10:02 AM 0 comments
After all the failures, NASA has managed to get two rovers on Mars with the successful landing of Opportunity on Saturday.
Two articles which give a glimce of what is going on are at the NY Times (I know, I'm actually recommending the paper) and at Space.com.
At the same time, the Rover Spirit is getting better (hopefully) and will be able to continue its mission.
Should man go back into deep space (as opposed to just visiting the space station)? Well, I don't know if Americans or Europeans can. We fear death too much. American culture in general seems to hold death in fear and something to be avoided at all costs. If the price of something is people are going to die, then the price is too high and we maybe not ought to do it.
Space exploration is dangerous. People will die in the exploration of space. If we are not willing to accept that fact, then we shouldn't try. But if people are willing to do their best, knowing they may not come back, and we as a society are willing to pay the price, then we should go. Why? Because no matter how many robots we build, there are somethings they just can't do.
Posted by andrew at 9:39 AM 0 comments
Rumors are flying that Osama Bin Laden has been captured. VERY SPECULATIVE. Who knows if there is anything behind the smoke. Who knows who the sources are. Who knows if this guy is just making stuff up. But it's always fun to speculate. According to Northeast Intelligence Network:
Posted by Rob at 4:18 PM 0 comments
via Sgt. Hook, things that your news anchor didn't want you to see.
Posted by Rob at 12:08 PM 0 comments
I have mixed thoughts about the recent announcement by President Bush to put an American back on the moon with the long term goal of a manned mission to Mars. A lunar base is all well and good, but I am not entirely convinced that a manned mission to Mars is cost effective. There really is no good reason to put a person on Mars other than for scientific exploration and national prestige.
It is more cost effective to send robots like Spirit to the martian surface. The support systems necessary to move living, breathing human beings to Mars can be replaced by a whole boatload of scientific instruments into what would be a smaller payload. Granted, you don't have the flexibility or problem solving ability of a human, but on the flip side, robots don't need to return back to earth.
The cost of robotic missions is an order of magnitude (or two) less than manned missions and the loss of human life is zeroized. Traveling to the moon cost of three men's lives in the loss of Apollo 1; traveling into orbit has cost several lives. 22 missions have been attempted to or around Mars, and 8 have been considered successes (discounting Spirit and Opportunity). That is a success rate of just over 36%*. One can only guess what the casualty rate would be for attempted manned missions. Traveling to Mars simply entails more risk.
Exploration is not without hazard, but a balance between risk and reward must be struck.
Until we have established a viable space presence, with corresponding advances in engineering and technology, the cost of a Mars manned mission simply is not worth the risk right now. In the meantime, more effective unmanned missions can be accomplished.
====
*I can appreciate why the success rate is so low: it is really very difficult to put together a complex system that is 100% reliable that must operate without operator intervention over the period of years in environments that we only are just beginning to understand. Some think that failure is "just the luck of the draw".
Posted by Rob at 11:20 AM 0 comments
Presidential Election 2004: "It's the homeland security, stupid"
I grouse about the economics right now and, thankfully, that's what we're worried about mostly these days. I'd like it if we had only to worry about non-security issues and not if I have to worry about taking an airline flight.
Posted by Rob at 12:13 PM 0 comments
Over the last year, I've been mildly concerned with the amount of spending and entitlement programs emanating from Washington. Next, I'm flabbergasted at the coming of a new view on immigration. Then I'm treated to a really bizzare Kennedy moment when Bush announces we're putting man on the moon. . .again. I am willing to allow such programs come to pass. There are commendable things in these things. I thought that the strange had come and it had passed. Not so--Medicare payments are going to be increased:
Posted by Rob at 10:37 PM 0 comments
George Jonas at the National Post has an article where he says the Biometric systems the US has implemented (foreign visitors have to be photographed and fingerprinted when entering) will not do any good because the new terrorists are disposable. They come on one way missions and don't care if the US takes their picture or finger prints them, they are going to die in the attack anyway.
That is true for the ones mounting the attack. However, before an attack can be launched, you have to have the planners and the operational folks enter the country first. And these are the one's who you want to catch anyway.
Its the planners and the thinkers who have to scout out where to attack, set up the safe houses, secure the explosives and get the money in and out so the attack can take place. The suicide bomber can't do that, they are not trained to do so. Why spend time and money training someone how to do all that when they will only use it once?
So will biometrics be a cure all and prevent future attacks all by themselves? Of course not. Can it be an effective tool to help catch the planners and thinkers who have to make multiple trips to plan and get ready to execute attacks? Absolutely.
There is no magic bullet to preventing terrorist attacks, but you want to use all the tricks you have so if/when the bad guys get through one security system, they run afoul with another.
Posted by andrew at 1:33 PM 0 comments
On Thursday, I asked what was Israel to do about women suicide bombers who, in their pre-attack video, say making the attack was something they wanted to do since they were 13.
Now, two Israeli articles, here and here, say the women who made the attack was not the fanatical believer as was claimed by Hamas, but rather was given a choice, make a suicide attack or be killed in an "honor murder". The articles state she was or had an affair and her husband found out. By Islamic law, he could kill her or have her killed to restore the family honor. Instead Hamas said she could make the attack in atonement for her actions and thus restore the family honor.
We here people say Islam is a religion of peace. So WHY are the Muslim leaders SILENT on what happened and denouncing it?? Does Hamas speak for Islam now? If so what is Israel's or even the US' incentive to negotiate with Muslims nations if Hamas' version of Islam is correct?
Posted by andrew at 1:25 PM 0 comments
Gregg Easterbrook comments on the administration's plan to allow illegal workers in the U.S. and contends that the plan should be viewed outside of the election year effects. In fact, he contends that the plan is an act of compassion--an act that would in other eras and under presidents of different political stripe would have been labeled "bleeding heart liberalism". The result is a commentary on media bias.
Posted by Rob at 4:30 PM 0 comments
Your brother is a soldier manning a check point, your job is to prevent terrorist from passing through and accomplishing their mission.
A woman asks for help and mercy, and when your brother goes to help, the woman blows herself up and kills your brother and 3 other solders.
Later, your manning the same check point. A woman asks for help and mercy. How do you determine if the woman is in need or another terrorist who wants to kill as many people as possible.
Hamas has just made it harder for the Palestinian people by saying they will use more women as suicide bombers because they will make the Israelis take more precautions and be able to show less humanity and mercy.
Maybe after the wall is finished being built, Israel should just say Palestine is no longer our concern and we will not let them into our country anymore. Harsh but only when the Palestinian people agree peace is better then war and are willing to let Israel exist can there be peace. At this time the Palestinian people do not want peace, they want victory, pushing the Jews out into the sea. The only other option is for Israel to expel the entire Palestinian people from the West Bank and Gaza (Similar to Poland and the Czech Republic expelling all German people after WW 2 from their countries) and then let Jordan, Egypt and Syria deal with the refugees.
Posted by andrew at 1:54 PM 0 comments
Interesting interview by the NYT of Dennis Miller, the former MNF color man. In his own style, Miller takes his stand:
Posted by Rob at 10:40 AM 0 comments
In response to the gay marriage issue and his Christian faith, Dem presidential candidate Howard Dean made the remark that:
Posted by Rob at 7:02 PM 0 comments
Jeff Schnepper at MSN Money has an article on the new Health Savings Accounts and how they work. They may not be the answer for folks with small kids, but for healthy people who do not have lots of medical expense on average it could be a good idea.
Worth reading.
Posted by andrew at 9:06 AM 0 comments
Frank Lockwood at the Lexington Herald-Leader has a story about how the Episcopal Church deals with Churches and Pastors (called Rector's) who hold a differing view on active homosexuals in Church leadership then the Bishop.
In short, the liberal bishop dismissed the conservative church board and downgraded the status of the Parish to Mission so the bishop would have direct control over the church. The bishop says he was afraid of the conservatives in leadership and the Rector would leave the denomination and take the church property and bank accounts with them. The dismissed leaders denies this and said at most they wanted to be under the authority of a conservative bishop rather then the current one.
The end result, the congregation of 150 has split, the Rector and leadership have formed a new independent church and 50% or more of the congregation has followed.
Posted by andrew at 9:03 AM 0 comments
Apparently, after Saddam's capture, attacks down 22% in Iraq. The peak was around 50 attacks November 11, 2003 and now averaging about 18 a day for the last four weeks.
There are a couple of thoughts: 1) who are the ones still attacking 2) 50 A DAY? Never knew that there were that many attacks happening, it puts the casualty rates in perspective and 3) are the Baathists and Islamofacists saving their energy up for a big offensive (a la Tet)?
Posted by Rob at 4:12 PM 0 comments
Courtesy of Andrew Sullivan, a link to a photoshop job by a (presumably) left liberal over at Indymedia and their tribute to the American men and women who keep this country free enough that we can disagree with one another.
This sort of attitude sickens me. Notice the swastika and ginned up SS unit emblems? How about those kill notches and the superimposed skulls on the helmets?
FYI (courtesy of Merriam-Webster):
Posted by Rob at 4:01 PM 0 comments
The Washington Post has a story on the Democrat candidates who are trying to take a traditionally Republican issue and gain support for themselves. Tax Reform. Everyone agrees the tax code is too complex, but how to change the system so its easier to administer and less taxing (no pun intended) for Americans to comply with, is not easy to get agreement with.
It will be interesting to see the details on how the various candidates and Democrats in Congress think the system should be reformed. Some of their ideas are good and have been proposed in the past, but since they don't have a strong group pushing them, they die in committee.
Posted by andrew at 11:42 AM 0 comments
Maria Garriga at the New Haven Register has an article where Douglas Fore tells why the baby boomers are heading towards poverty in their retirement years. Of course its always good to have a single source when writing about such a complex issue, there can't be a difference of opinion on what to do or even how serious the problem is but that is beside the point.
Fore's basic premise is sound, we are heading towards a major crisis with Social Security when the baby boomers retire. When Social Security was started, it was a very squat pyramid. A very wide base (lots of people paying into it) and a short top (not many people taking money out of the system). That pyramid has been getting narrower over the last few decades (not as many people paying into the system and more taking money out) and after the boomers retire, the pyramid will become inverted. More money going out of the system then is going into it.
Social Security does not work like a bank account or a 401K plan, where the money each person pays in goes into an account and is waiting for them (even though that is how the SSA would like each person to think based on the benefits letter they mail out yearly). The system has always been a transfer payment plan. The current workers are paying the current retirees (so when you get your paycheck next time and see the money taken out for FICA, know its going to folks (like your parents) who are currently retired).
Fore is correct that within 20 years, either Social Security taxes will have to go up dramatically (like 40% tax rate with employer matching) or benefits will have to be cut dramatically (like to one third of current payments for the system to stay solvent.
Fore is also correct that workers under 45 should not be counting on receiving any Social Security and should be maximizing 401K contributions, IRA and just plain old putting money into savings, which as a country America does not do.
A few comments Fore makes are just wrong and detract from the rest of the story which is not bad. He says the factors contributing to the retirement crisis include tax cuts and increased government defense spending. These two items are just wrong. Social Security is not funded out of general revenue so tax cuts other then payroll taxes does not effect the SSA Trust Fund. Likewise, government spending does not use the SSA Trust Fund money so defense or non-defense spending is irrelevant.
Of course if the budget deficit was smaller, the government borrowing would be smaller from the Trust Fund and from the public, but that does not effect there not being enough money in the system to pay the future retirees claims on the system.
Overall, its a good article and is a reminder we are responsible for our own retirement so maybe the high definition TV can be put on hold so more money can be put in to your retirement plan. That is always a good idea.
Posted by andrew at 9:42 AM 0 comments
Democratic presidential candidate Wes Clarks says he can keep U.S. safe from attacks:
Posted by Rob at 2:35 PM 0 comments
Mel Gibson's movie "The Passion of the Christ" has raised a lot of controversy with charges of being anti-Semitic among other. Mark D. Roberts, senior pastor at Irvine Presbyterian Church has seen the movie and has an indepth review. Its a good read to get past all the noise from the media and decide if its something you want to see.
Posted by andrew at 9:30 AM 0 comments
Albert Mohler, President of the Southern Baptist Theological Seminary, has a blog and a lot of items in it. There are three entries I would recommend, they are all on his Friday (Jan 9) list and are listed one after another.
The first entry "The God Gulf--Nicholas Kristof Strikes Yet Again"
is about Nicholas Kristof at the NY Times and how he (Nicholas) cannot seem to understand how so many people in the US can believe in God over evolution.
The second "The Porn King and the Hamburger Chain" discusses Carl's Jr.'s decision to use Hugh Hefner as its spokesman and how porn went from back alley to mainstream in America.
The third "The Soap Opera Saga of Pete Rose: He's Hustling Again" (last entry from 7 January) is about Pete Rose. All are worth the read.
Posted by andrew at 9:01 AM 0 comments
Back in 2001, post WTC, a German destroyer saluted the USS Winston Churchill. Remember this?
How times have changed. Perhaps the citizens have the same attitudes of solidarity, or at least condolances. But have the governments forgotten?
Posted by Rob at 6:11 PM 0 comments
Now they're distorting the accidental death of a reporter who got himself in a firefight. Here's the excerpt from Iraq Now:
Posted by Rob at 3:55 PM 0 comments
I saw this at The Motley Fool, don't have a link for it, but the author is listed (hopefully the correct author. Enjoy.
This is an article written by Rick Reilly of Sports Illustrated. He
details his experiences when given the opportunity to fly in a F-14 Tomcat.
"Now this message is for America's most famous athletes:
Someday you may be invited to fly in the back-seat of one of your
country's most powerful fighter jets. Many of you already have ... John Elway, John Stockton, Tiger Woods to name a few. If you get this
opportunity, let me urge you, with the greatest sincerity...
Move to Guam.
Change your name.
Fake your own death!
Whatever you do ...
Do Not Go!!!
I know. The U.S. Navy invited me to try it. I was thrilled. I was pumped. I was toast! I should've known when they told me my pilot would be Chip (Biff) King of Fighter Squadron 213 at Naval Air Station Oceana in Virginia Beach.
Whatever you're thinking a Top Gun named Chip (Biff) King looks like, triple it. He's about six-foot, tan, ice-blue eyes, wavy surfer hair, finger-crippling handshake -- the kind of man who wrestles dyslectic alligators in his leisure time. If you see this man, run the other way. Fast.
Biff King was born to fly. His father, Jack King, was for years the voice of NASA missions. ("T-minus 15 seconds and counting ..." Remember?) Chip would charge neighborhood kids a quarter each to hear his dad. Jack would wake up from naps surrounded by nine-year-olds waiting for him to say, "We have a liftoff"
Biff was to fly me in an F-14D Tomcat, a ridiculously powerful $60
million weapon with nearly as much thrust as weight, not unlike Colin
Montgomerie. I was worried about getting airsick, so the night before the flight I asked Biff if there was something I should eat the next morning.
"Bananas," he said.
"For the potassium?" I asked.
"No," Biff said, "because they taste about the same coming up as they do going down."
The next morning, out on the tarmac, I had on my flight suit with my name sewn over the left breast. (No call sign -- like Crash or Sticky or Leadfoot ... but, still, very cool.) I carried my helmet in the crook of my arm, as Biff had instructed. If ever in my life I had a chance to nail Nicole Kidman, this was it.
A fighter pilot named Psycho gave me a safety briefing and then
fastened me into my ejection seat, which, when employed, would "egress" me out of the plane at such a velocity that I would be immediately knocked unconscious.
Just as I was thinking about aborting the flight, the canopy closed over me, and Biff gave the ground crew a thumbs-up. In minutes we were firing nose up at 600 mph. We leveled out and then canopy-rolled over another F-14.
Those 20 minutes were the rush of my life. Unfortunately, the ride lasted 80. It was like being on the roller coaster at Six Flags Over Hell. Only without rails. We did barrel rolls, snap rolls, loops, yanks and banks. We dived, rose and dived again, sometimes with a vertical velocity of 10,000 feet per minute. We chased another F-14, and it chased us.
We broke the speed of sound. Sea was sky and sky was sea. Flying at 200 feet we did 90-degree turns at 550 mph, creating a G force of 6.5, which is to say I felt as if 6.5 times my body weight was smashing against me, thereby approximating life as Mrs. Colin Montgomerie.
And I egressed the bananas. I egressed the pizza from the night
before. And the lunch before that. I egressed a box of Milk Duds from the sixth grade. I made Linda Blair look polite. Because of the G's, I was egressing stuff that never thought would be egressed. I went through not one airsick bag, but two.
Biff said I passed out. Twice. I was coated in sweat. At one point, as we were coming in upside down in a banked curve on a mock bombing target and the G's were flattening me like a tortilla and I was in and out of consciousness, I realized I was the first person in history to throw down.
I used to know 'cool'. Cool was Elway throwing a touchdown pass, or Norman making a five-iron bite. But now I really know 'cool'. Cool is guys like Biff, men with cast-iron stomachs and freon nerves. I wouldn't go up there again for Derek Jeter's black book, but I'm glad Biff does every day, and for less a year than a rookie reliever makes in a home stand.
A week later, when the spins finally stopped, Biff called. He said he and the fighters had the perfect call sign for me. Said he'd send it on a patch for my flight suit.
What is it? I asked.
"Two Bags."
Posted by andrew at 1:00 PM 0 comments
This is an amazing story that could only happen in America.
From the Wisconsin paper The Reporter - Man says he is addicted to cable.
If this man finds a lawyer to take the case, . . . . hmm, since anyone COULD read this better not say what I'm thinking. The only one who I might say would have a case are the Charter investors because the company was letting someone receive cable for free for over 4 years because someone forgot to turn the cable stream off.
Posted by andrew at 12:58 PM 0 comments
As strange as that the title sounds, its just what the schools may have to do if enough signatures are gathered and the ballot measure passes.
Matt McLaughlin is trying to put the initiative on the ballot which would require the state to use the bible as a textbook for literature. Contra Costa Times has the article.
I'm not sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, its good that students will be exposed to the bible, but on the other hand, if students are forced to read the bible as literature (I had to read Dickens' Tale of Two Cities) they may never want to pick it up again after the class is done. Also, there are parts of the bible that can be very dry to read (the genealogies for me).
Interesting idea, will be even more interesting to see the campaign for and against if it does make it to the ballot.
Posted by andrew at 12:10 AM 0 comments
Hmmm, the Ohio Lottery had a prize for $162M and one woman claimed she lost the winning ticket and tried to block the pay-out to the woman who turned in the winning ticket.
That just sounds a little too convenient. And now the woman who made the claim (and filed a lawsuit and a police report) confessed she made the whole thing up because she wanted to win. I saw the news at Yahoo and then went to Lucianne.com and saw it posted there, the people who posted comments were not too sympathetic, well I'm not either towards her. Will be interesting to see what the police do, filing a false police report is punishable by 30 days to six months in jail.
Posted by andrew at 12:00 AM 0 comments
Here's a remarkable account of a gentleman (a Jew) who is flying Air Emirates, an Arabic airline, and asked for a kosher meal:
Posted by Rob at 5:07 PM 1 comments
Courtesy of Hillary Rodham Clinton:
Posted by Rob at 12:42 PM 0 comments
I normally don't read the LA Times, in fact, if the story is listed in the LA Times and another paper, I'll link to the other paper so they get this hits instead of the LAT.
But this is an LAT story and its amazing in its content.
Arnold and the largest Teachers Union are talking about cutting $2 billion from the FY 2005 budget which starts July 2004. A public employee union is agreeing to cut spending and is talking with the Governor about how to implement it.
Now of course, there is more to the story then that. Arnold has said Prop 98 (which requires 40% of Cal General Fund to be spent on K-12 and Community Colleges) may need to be suspended to deal with the budget crisis and that has the teachers scared. Also, the cuts are temporary and will be restored in the following year so it is a short term fix.
But still to have the LA Times write a story like this and not be condemning the teachers union for talking about cutting spending and likewise not calling for new and higher taxes is amazing.
Posted by andrew at 9:06 AM 0 comments
Yes, its now January and we should all be back at work and being serious and paying attention to Iowa and New Hampshire this month as the Dems get to vote, but saw this and couldn't pass it up . . . . enjoy. (Hat tip Motly Fool)
A SUITABLY MANGLED 12-DAYS OF TECHNOLOGY BEFORE CHRISTMAS
(Written by Dr. Bill Hancock, of Network-1 Software and Technology, Inc., while bored out of his mind on an airplane)
On the first day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
A database with a broken b-tree (what the hell is a b-tree anyway?)
On the second day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
Two transceiver failures (CRC errors? Collisions? What is going on?)
And a database with a broken b-tree (Rebuild WHAT? It's a 10GB database!)
On the third day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
Three French users (who, of course, think they know everything)
Two transceiver failures (which are now spewing packets all over the net)
And a database with a broken b-tree (Backup? What backup?)
On the fourth day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
Four calls for support (playing the same Christmas song over and over)
Three French users (Why do they like to argue so much over trivial things?)
Two transceiver failures (How the hell do I know which ones they are?)
And a database with a broken b-tree (Pointer error? What pointer error?)
On the fifth day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
Five golden SCSI contacts (Of course they're better than silver!)
Four support calls (Ever notice how time stands still when on hold?
Three French users (No, we don't have footpedals on PC's? Why do you ask?)
Two transceiver failures (If I knew which were bad, I would know which to fix!)
And a database with a broken b-tree (Not till next week? Are you nuts?!?!)
On the sixth day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
Six games a-playing (On the production network, of course!)
Five golden SCSI contacts (What do you mean "not terminated!")
Four support calls (No, don't transfer me again - do you HEAR? Damn!)
Three French users (No, you cannot scan in by putting the page to the screen..)
Two transceiver failures (I can't look at the LEDs - they're in the ceiling!)
And a database with a broken b-tree (Norway? That's where this was written?)
On the seventh day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
Seven license failures (Expired? When?)
Six games a-playing (Please stop tying up the PBX to talk to each other!)
Five golden SCSI contacts (What do you mean I need "wide" SCSI?)
Four support calls (At least the musak is different this time...)
Three French Users (Well, monsieur, there really isn't an "any" key, but...)
Two transceiver failures (SQE? What is that? If I knew I would set it myself!)
And a database with a broken b-tree (No, I really need to talk to Lars - NOW!)
On the eighth day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
Eight MODEMs dialing (Who bought these? They're a security violation!)
Seven license failures (How many WEEKS to get a license?)
Six games a-playing (What do you mean one pixel per packet on updates?!?)
Five golden SCSI contacts (Fast SCSI? It's supposed to be fast, isn't it?)
Four support calls (I already told them that! Don't transfer me back - DAMN!)
Three French users (No, CTL-ALT-DEL is not the proper way to end a program)
Two transceiver failures (What do you mean "babbling transceiver"?)
And a database with a broken b-tree (Does anyone speak English in Oslo?)
On the ninth day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
Nine lady executives with attitude (She said do WHAT with the servers?)
Eight MODEMs dialing (You've been downloading WHAT?)
Seven license failures (We sent the P.O. two months ago!)
Six games a-playing (HOW many people are doing this to the network?)
Five golden SCSI contacts (What do you mean two have the same ID?)
Four support calls (No, I am not at the console - I tried that already.)
Three French users (No, only one floppy fits at a time? Why do you ask?)
Two transceiver failures (Spare? What spare?)
And a database with a broken b-tree (No, I am trying to find Lars! L-A-R-S!)
On the tenth day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
Ten SNMP alerts flashing (What is that Godawful beeping?)
Nine lady executives with attitude (No, it used to be a mens room? Why?)
Eight MODEMs dialing (What Internet provider? We don't allow AOL here!)
Seven license failures (SPA? Why are they calling us?)
Six games a-playing (No, you don't need a graphics accelerator for Lotus!)
Five golden SCSI contacts (You mean I need ANOTHER cable?)
Four support calls (No, I never needed an account number before...)
Three French users (When the PC sounds like a cat, it's a head crash!)
Two transceiver failures (Power connection? What power connection?)
And a database with a broken b-tree (Restore what index pointers?)
On the eleventh day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
Eleven boards a-frying (What is that terrible smell?)
Ten SNMP alerts flashing (What's a MIB, anyway? What's an extension?)
Nine lady executives with attitude (Mauve? Our computer room tiles in mauve?)
Eight MODEMs dialing (What do you mean you let your roomate dial-in?)
Seven license failures (How many other illegal copies do we have?!?!)
Six games a-playing (I told you - AFTER HOURS!)
Five golden SCSI contacts (If I knew what was wrong, I wouldn't be calling!)
Four support calls (Put me on hold again and I will slash your credit rating!)
Three French users (Don't hang your floppies with a magnet again!)
Two transceiver failures (How should I know if the connector is bad?)
And a database with a broken b-tree (I already did all of that!)
On the twelfth day of Christmas, technology gave to me:
Twelve virtual pipe connections (There's only supposed to be two!)
Eleven boards a-frying (What a surge suppresor supposed to do, anyway?)
Ten SNMP alerts flashing (From a distance, it does kinda look like Xmas lights.)
Nine lady executives with attitude (What do you mean aerobics before backups?)
Eight MODEMs dialing (No, we never use them to connect during business hours.)
Seven license failures (We're all going to jail, I just know it.)
Six games a-playing (No, no - my turn, my turn!)
Five golden SCSI contacts (Great, just great! Now it won't even boot!)
Four support calls (I don't have that package! How did I end up with you!)
Three French users (I don't care if it is sexy, no more nude screen backrounds!)
Two transceiver failures (Maybe we should switch to token ring...)
And a database with a broken b-tree (No, operator - Oslo, Norway. We were just talking and were cut off...)
Posted by andrew at 1:43 PM 0 comments
Here's a WaPo article outlining a debate between two defense department camps at odds over the deployment of the Special Forces.
Posted by Rob at 10:14 AM 0 comments