Ode to Microsoft

Since I just got back from a holiday thought I'd start out with something "serious" as I spent over 2 hours yesterday running the critical updates to my windows program (and the system is checking for updates on a constant basis).

I didn't write this but found it here. A poem to Microsoft:

Used Users' Poem
(inspired by true experiences with Microsoft products)
by Holly

While rushing to client, no moment to spare
I hurried to finish a job in despair.
Trying to upload some files to my site...
Nothing was happening, try as I might!

I pounded and shouted and yelled at the screen,
But this did not work it too well it would seem.
So I thought a download would fix me up quick,
But I should have beaten myself with a stick.

The ftp download wiped out my accounts,
It clobbered my passwords and ate all my fonts.
So I used my backup, but when I reboot,
My mouse was quite active but keyboard was moot.

"Oh my god holy," I think I did scream,
Followed by something extremely obscene.

I got down on my knees...
I crossed my fingers and said "god, OH please!"
"If you can see it in your heart!"
With my hand on my PC I yelled out..."RESTART!"

I then hit the reboot and covered my head,
With my favorite blanket to stave off the dread.
My PC made sounds that I've not heard before,
I got a strong feeling to head for the door.

And when I had gained enough courage to see,
I saw a blue screen staring right back at me.
MICROSOFT ERROR EXCEPTION IS FATAL!
I then wished Bill Gates had been killed when pre-natal.

And just when I thought all my hope had been shot,
A message appeared: "Insert Card Into Slot"
I looked in my wallet and took out my Visa,
And offered it to my PC on my knees-a.

It disappeared quickly and then it popped out,
My PC rebooted, and maxed my account.
Then what to my wondering eyes should appear,
Than a pictures of Gates robbing me peer-to-peer.

"Merry Christmas!" He shouted,
"Not for YOU but for ME!"
"It's Christmas year-round...
...For my MONOPOLY!"