Religion as Baseball

It's baseball season and one of the other "owners" in one of my (four) fantasy leagues sent me this:

Calvinists believe the game is fixed.
Lutherans believe they can t win, but trust the Scorekeeper.
Quakers won t swing.
Unitarians can catch anything.
Amish walk a lot.
Pagans sacrifice.
Jehovah s Witnesses are thrown out often.
Tele-evangelists get caught stealing.
Episcopalians pass the plate.
Evangelicals make effective pitches.
Fundamentalists balk.
Mormons are in left field.
Dunkers are down by three.
Adventists have a seventh-inning stretch.
Atheists refuse to have an Umpire.
Baptists want to play hardball.
Premillenialists expect the game to be called soon on account of darkness.
The Pope claims never to have committed an error.